bluephinWhat my Kids have Taught me as a Parent
September 4th 2008 05:17
Parent-children relationship is a teach and learn, give and take bond. Parents teach, children learn and vice versa.
What parents teach their kids is something that is a common knowledge to everybody. But what is that kids teach their parents?
Personally, my children taught me:
Patience
Actually, not just plain patience but patience beyond unreasonable reason (if that makes any sense). I, for example, know how very patient a person I am. However, when I had kids my patience was tested to the extreme! Up until now, those little “monsters” are still testing my patience. Sometimes, they’re winning as I throw my hands up in the air and surrender while pondering what I had done wrong in raising them. Other times, I win, as they sit still in one place only their eyeballs moving, following my every movements.
I reckon, dealing with kids needs a whole bunch of patience. That is a fact that I have known all along. But now that I have my own, that is when I started to realize (and appreciate) how patient my own mother has been (and is always).
Understand beyond words
Most adults, especially if they were not raised with heaps of small children around them, are more adept to written or verbal (comprehendible) communication. Having kids, especially at this early age when they have their own ways of communicating with people around them parents have to be a whiz to understand what they want and need.
Over time, and perhaps because as a mother my kids literally came from me (was a part of me and would always be a part of me), I have learned to understand their way of communicating with me, telling me what they want and even with me knowing what they want just with the type of cry they do, their body language, and the glitter of their eyes. I think it’s actually a mom thing (and most certainly, and not to be discarded, also a dad thing especially if they are hands-on dads like my hubby).
The real meaning of unconditional love
I, for example, have known and believed all my life that there is such a thing as unconditional love and that it is needed for a fruitful, lasting and productive relationship. Nevertheless, I have never known this kind of unconditional love until I became a parent – a mother.
Each child is absolutely unique (even if they were conceived from the same parent, once connected from the same blood cord, housed in the same womb for nine months, breast fed from the same bosom, etc.). I love A1 for his sweetness, his funny antics, his laugh, his playfulness and his warm-hearted nature. He’s not perfect though, he could be naughty, a cry-baby, too attached to his favourite stuffs, wakes me up at night to ask for milk, needy (at times). But I still love him to bits!
A2 is in no way a carbon copy of his brother. He could be sweet if he wants to, laughs and smiles easily, eats everything and anything, independent, adventurous and fearless. Even if he cries and shrieks irritatingly, knows what he wants and he wants them fast, looks at me and walks away when I tell him not to do something, goes back to doing something that he shouldn’t after I tell me not to, my heart still melts when he smiles and says “mama”.
I have, in my mind, picture of an ideal (if not perfect) child that I want to raise and how I would do it. But it really seems that we can’t particularly dictate everything. As a mother I could only do guidance and provide unconditional love – which I am doing. Believe me, I adore my kids to pieces even if there are times that I am ready to retreat to my bedroom and let them do whatever they want to do.
Giving up and taking care of one’s self
Ever since I had kids, I rarely have a descent amount of good night sleep. Why? Because they cry in the middle of the night wanting their bottle of milk or sometimes just wants to be cuddled. For awhile, I try to let go of the idea of having enough sleep just to tend to their needs.
However, not forgetting that I also have to take care of myself so I could take care of them, I try to get some naps and rest when they are on their best behaviour. In addition (and as a means of making up for the lost sleep) I tried to eat and munch as much as I can. No way would an unhealthy parent (a mother in this case) be able to look after her kids and the entire family. I try not to skip meals as I do when I was still single (especially if I’m in front of the computer). I know that if I am very physically then I could look after my kids with all my strength and to the best of my ability.
Appreciation and understanding of what our own parents are
One of the most important things that each parent learns from their own kids is to appreciate and understand their own parents. As the saying goes, “you would understand how it is to be a parent until you become one,” and it’s true. Not until you physically put yourself in your parent’s shoes that you would know the hardships, sacrifices and love they have done for you.
This, therefore, proves true that in life each individual learns from another regardless of their age, status in life or gender.
What parents teach their kids is something that is a common knowledge to everybody. But what is that kids teach their parents?
Personally, my children taught me:
Patience
Actually, not just plain patience but patience beyond unreasonable reason (if that makes any sense). I, for example, know how very patient a person I am. However, when I had kids my patience was tested to the extreme! Up until now, those little “monsters” are still testing my patience. Sometimes, they’re winning as I throw my hands up in the air and surrender while pondering what I had done wrong in raising them. Other times, I win, as they sit still in one place only their eyeballs moving, following my every movements.
I reckon, dealing with kids needs a whole bunch of patience. That is a fact that I have known all along. But now that I have my own, that is when I started to realize (and appreciate) how patient my own mother has been (and is always).
Understand beyond words
Most adults, especially if they were not raised with heaps of small children around them, are more adept to written or verbal (comprehendible) communication. Having kids, especially at this early age when they have their own ways of communicating with people around them parents have to be a whiz to understand what they want and need.
Over time, and perhaps because as a mother my kids literally came from me (was a part of me and would always be a part of me), I have learned to understand their way of communicating with me, telling me what they want and even with me knowing what they want just with the type of cry they do, their body language, and the glitter of their eyes. I think it’s actually a mom thing (and most certainly, and not to be discarded, also a dad thing especially if they are hands-on dads like my hubby).
The real meaning of unconditional love
I, for example, have known and believed all my life that there is such a thing as unconditional love and that it is needed for a fruitful, lasting and productive relationship. Nevertheless, I have never known this kind of unconditional love until I became a parent – a mother.
Each child is absolutely unique (even if they were conceived from the same parent, once connected from the same blood cord, housed in the same womb for nine months, breast fed from the same bosom, etc.). I love A1 for his sweetness, his funny antics, his laugh, his playfulness and his warm-hearted nature. He’s not perfect though, he could be naughty, a cry-baby, too attached to his favourite stuffs, wakes me up at night to ask for milk, needy (at times). But I still love him to bits!
A2 is in no way a carbon copy of his brother. He could be sweet if he wants to, laughs and smiles easily, eats everything and anything, independent, adventurous and fearless. Even if he cries and shrieks irritatingly, knows what he wants and he wants them fast, looks at me and walks away when I tell him not to do something, goes back to doing something that he shouldn’t after I tell me not to, my heart still melts when he smiles and says “mama”.
I have, in my mind, picture of an ideal (if not perfect) child that I want to raise and how I would do it. But it really seems that we can’t particularly dictate everything. As a mother I could only do guidance and provide unconditional love – which I am doing. Believe me, I adore my kids to pieces even if there are times that I am ready to retreat to my bedroom and let them do whatever they want to do.
Giving up and taking care of one’s self
Ever since I had kids, I rarely have a descent amount of good night sleep. Why? Because they cry in the middle of the night wanting their bottle of milk or sometimes just wants to be cuddled. For awhile, I try to let go of the idea of having enough sleep just to tend to their needs.
However, not forgetting that I also have to take care of myself so I could take care of them, I try to get some naps and rest when they are on their best behaviour. In addition (and as a means of making up for the lost sleep) I tried to eat and munch as much as I can. No way would an unhealthy parent (a mother in this case) be able to look after her kids and the entire family. I try not to skip meals as I do when I was still single (especially if I’m in front of the computer). I know that if I am very physically then I could look after my kids with all my strength and to the best of my ability.
Appreciation and understanding of what our own parents are
One of the most important things that each parent learns from their own kids is to appreciate and understand their own parents. As the saying goes, “you would understand how it is to be a parent until you become one,” and it’s true. Not until you physically put yourself in your parent’s shoes that you would know the hardships, sacrifices and love they have done for you.
This, therefore, proves true that in life each individual learns from another regardless of their age, status in life or gender.
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