bluephinTo Child Care or Not to Child Care
August 31st 2006 12:22
Since mothers have taken a more pro-active stance in the workforce there has been a long standing debate as to what is best for the baby.
Some people claim that mothers who return to work and leave their baby in care are doing psychological damage to their baby. They believe that a mother’s place is at home with the children, not in the work force.
Others believe that mothers who return to work are ‘super mums’. These are the women who manage to juggle hectic family schedules with full or part-time jobs. Their children are usually placed in child care centres or with close relatives whilst the parents are at work.
Being in care does not damage your child emotionally nor does it mean that you are a bad parent. In fact, putting your child in care gives them access to a range of resources they otherwise might not have. It also teaches them to interact with a large group of children and to develop friendships. Of course, these are all things that a child can achieve at home as well.
So how do you decide whether or not to place your child in care, be it for one day to enable them to interact with other children, or for a full week whilst you return to work?
Listen to your own instincts. As parents, only you have an inherent understanding of what your child is and isn’t ready for. If you’re not ready to place your child in care, your anxiousness will be picked up on by your child and they too will become distressed about being in child care.
There is no right or wrong answer in regards to child care. The only questions that should be asked is what is best for you and your family, not what society believes is right or what is expected of you. It’s important that you do what you believe will benefit your family the most.
As with anything else in life, the quantityof time you spend with someone or doing something does not matter, it’s the quality or the way you spend that time that makes the difference.
Pictures taken from www.bounty.com and www.countrykeeps.com.au
Some people claim that mothers who return to work and leave their baby in care are doing psychological damage to their baby. They believe that a mother’s place is at home with the children, not in the work force.
Others believe that mothers who return to work are ‘super mums’. These are the women who manage to juggle hectic family schedules with full or part-time jobs. Their children are usually placed in child care centres or with close relatives whilst the parents are at work.
Being in care does not damage your child emotionally nor does it mean that you are a bad parent. In fact, putting your child in care gives them access to a range of resources they otherwise might not have. It also teaches them to interact with a large group of children and to develop friendships. Of course, these are all things that a child can achieve at home as well.
So how do you decide whether or not to place your child in care, be it for one day to enable them to interact with other children, or for a full week whilst you return to work?
Listen to your own instincts. As parents, only you have an inherent understanding of what your child is and isn’t ready for. If you’re not ready to place your child in care, your anxiousness will be picked up on by your child and they too will become distressed about being in child care.
There is no right or wrong answer in regards to child care. The only questions that should be asked is what is best for you and your family, not what society believes is right or what is expected of you. It’s important that you do what you believe will benefit your family the most.
As with anything else in life, the quantityof time you spend with someone or doing something does not matter, it’s the quality or the way you spend that time that makes the difference.
Pictures taken from www.bounty.com and www.countrykeeps.com.au
| 66 |
| Vote |
Subscribe to this blog
Comment by Helen's House
Neither could I permit children in care 8 hours per day, five days per week unless a mother were in terrible circumstances. In Australia this is rare with all the centrelink provisions available. I almost consider that child abuse. It cramps the child's learning style down to strictly peer-generated communication and separation of the generations.
I gave up on buying a child-care centre.
I know a brilliant young mother of triplets, originally a social worker. Aged three the children still have mother at home with them full time, and the number of experiences those children have doesn't remotely compare with what would be possible in a child-care centre. There is nothing done in a childcare centre that can't be done at home including socialisation with other children, but child care can't give them anything remotely comparable with energetic and adventurous home and mother care offers!
The results will show up clearly when the children mature. There are things that the second salary can never buy! There are investments in children that can only be made at the right and proper time and they are the most important investments of all!
Comment by Cinico
Small Business Scope
Parenting is all about loving your child and doing the best you can - there is no perfect parent and there is no perfect way to raise a child.
It's wonderful that there are mums who want and can stay at home with their children, it's also wonderful to see parents in the workforce and still maintaining a family life to rival that of a stay-at-home mum.
Child care does not harm the child and nor do any studies show (as far as I'm aware) that the child is emotionally or physically delayed because of being placed in child care.
Comment by Helen's House
I'm delighted that you had an excellent child care experience and did not suffer emotionally etc. I know there are times whenchild care is essential in some cases. And occasionally there are brilliant child care workers.
However, to say that child care has no ill effects on children, especially in extended day care, is really head inthe sand stuff.
Read an article in The Age, Feb 5th 2003 titles "A Chilling Truth About Child Care" It quotes studies making such points as
1. Extended child care predicts aggression in primary school and thereafter.
2. Negative effects on intellectual development
3. Dismal failure in the area of stimulation
4. Babies attempting to initiate communication are oftenignored by insensitive or overworked staff.
5. Major lacking in joint attention experiences.
That is just the first article I looked up!
We ignore these - not at our peril - at the peril of the children we place in (especially extended) day care.
A friend of mine is a day care worker, and very diligent. She often complains to me that other care workers don't actually play with the children and don't notice many things. It troubles her deeply. Of course there are
marvellous workers, but there aremany whose interest is purely commercial and the basic ratio of one carer to five babies makes it impossible for every baby to get hte kind of joint attention experiences essential to healthy development. If this were not true, then my mother of triplets would not have needed so much help from wonderful grandparents and friends in giving her babies the quality care they needed.
Be careful about sweeping statement such as " there areno ill effects with child care". It is easy to check your statement on the net.
Comment by Cinico
Small Business Scope
There are always going to be two opposing sides to this argument (wouldn't be an argument otherwise). I believe that when used appropriately child care does not harm the child and there are studies to support this. For every claim that it harms there will be a claim that it doesn't. Having witnessed the children at a centre myself and the parents, they are all very happy and content with the arrangement.
Working in a child care centre myself, I witness the staff everday interacting, laughing and playing with the children. I couldn't complain about the staff at all. I suppose there will always be some people who don't do their job probably and this is where it is concerning but then it's up to the director's and parents to do something about it.
It comes down to the parents having the CHOICE to make the decisions regarding their own child, without judgement from outsiders. If the parent chooses to put their child in care then the onus is on them to do it appropriately and at a centre that will nurture their child.
I know people who share the same strong views as you - that children should only be put in care out of necessity - but what is necessary to one person is not necessarily regarded in the same light by another.
I can also see where you are coming from, particularly when 'bad experiences' from child care are so quicly publicised, but the good rarely are.
However, personally I believe that it's good that parents have the choice. My child was placed into care when I returned to work part-time, and he absolutely loved it. I don't like to think that there are people who would think less of me because of that - particularly when he's my son and it's up to he and I what we do with our lives.
Comment by Helen's House
I totally agree with these comments, and certainly don't want to criticise any individual's successful use of child care.
What I want to do is to warn that excessive and unwise use of childcare is very deleterious to children. There certainly rights and wrongs concerning it. I also know some wonderful workers, meeting with whome would be a most desirable experience for children. I just want both sides of the story projected.
Yours in high regard,
Helen
Comment by Cinico
Small Business Scope
You're right - there are people who misuse childcare and there are people who work in the industry that shouldn't - I wouldn't disagree with you there.
Though when people say that's it's child care that damages a child it leads people to believe that the institution itself is damaging - when, in my humble opinion, it is some parents (& I believe they are a minority) and some workers that create the bad situations for children.
Would you agree more with that statement?
Comment by Helen's House
Schools, for example, have a major problem managing bullying in certain areas and parents need to be most selcetive about the institutionthey use and about what is happening within that place in their child's experience. The responsibility llies finally with the parents after all. It is best they be aware of all the issues involved, have a balanced assessment etc.
Also they need to sit down and work out their clear goals when educating their children, so that they have a measuring stick for progress. Children's mental health still depends largely on family strength, what ever institution they are involved with, so family values need to be very clearly identified,and taught from one generation to the other. I think in the sixties they rebelled so much against the privations of depression and war damaged communitites with their stiff upper llip that they lost such values as respect, self-discipline, etc and didn't teach them. Values have shifted dramatically during those years, but babies were probably thrown out with the bathwater in that respect.
I like to think that parents can fully support and assist their children's institutions, as a co-perative, appreciative and respectful atmosphere does a lot for staff