bluephinOur kids should have the best of us...
August 18th 2008 05:13
I heard a fellow working mom once said: “Our kids should have the best of us and not what is left of us.”
That left me thinking (and a bit guilty). I am working full time five days a week and (as all moms do) have daily house chores. There are also days that I have to do a bit of work from home. Weekday afternoons with my kids are a big challenge. I have to finish at most 2 hours of my office work the same time that I have to attend to my kids’ every whim and desire to get my attention.
There are times that I sit and wonder: “Giving up my job while my kids are young would be a big challenge and would let me spend more precious waking moments with them.” But, somehow, reality strikes me. With the current demanding situation of families having to sustain their daily needs, it is practical (and helpful) to have double income in a family. My defence is that when I am not there, my husband is there for them. When my husband is at work, I am with kids. We try, as much as possible, not to be there both at the same time especially in this critical growing years of their lives.
Moms, like me, who are feeling guilty about being at work 8 hours a day instead of spending time with their kids, here are some tips (and thoughts) from a fellow mother.
• When you are at home, in between house work and trying to get some rest take some time to laugh and play with your kids.
• Make weekends family day. Never take on office work no matter what happens.
• Always keep your cool. There are times that coming home from work we are not at our best anymore and the endless questions and attention-grabbing efforts of our kids make us shout or set us to be angry. However, this is unavoidable as we are also humans and our bodies get tired. But remember that it’s nobody’s fault that we are tired and that the kids want attention. Just take it a heartbeat at a time. Never fret.
• Take every opportunity to take a day off at work to spend with the kids, especially if you have the proper entitlement to have it. Some work places are family-friendly and would give their employees annual leave entitlements that they can use to whatever purpose. If you have this kind of privilege, put it to good use and spend a whole day giving your kids the best of you.
• Maximize every moment that you have with your kids. For example, you can make simple daily bath time into mom and kid fun time. Joke around with your kids while you brush their teeth or change their clothes.
• If they are of the right age, you can even make simple house chores like cooking or cleaning their room a fun time for both of you. How? If they are big enough, you can give them simple preparation tasks or let them stand beside you as you cook while explaining t them what you are doing. While tidying up their room you can play their favourite music or sing and dance to their favourite tune.
The possibilities could be endless and that depends upon your situation. The important thing is there is a desire coming from you to spend time with your kids. You wouldn’t want your kids to have a memory of you always at work and never there for them, do you?
That left me thinking (and a bit guilty). I am working full time five days a week and (as all moms do) have daily house chores. There are also days that I have to do a bit of work from home. Weekday afternoons with my kids are a big challenge. I have to finish at most 2 hours of my office work the same time that I have to attend to my kids’ every whim and desire to get my attention.
There are times that I sit and wonder: “Giving up my job while my kids are young would be a big challenge and would let me spend more precious waking moments with them.” But, somehow, reality strikes me. With the current demanding situation of families having to sustain their daily needs, it is practical (and helpful) to have double income in a family. My defence is that when I am not there, my husband is there for them. When my husband is at work, I am with kids. We try, as much as possible, not to be there both at the same time especially in this critical growing years of their lives.
Moms, like me, who are feeling guilty about being at work 8 hours a day instead of spending time with their kids, here are some tips (and thoughts) from a fellow mother.
• When you are at home, in between house work and trying to get some rest take some time to laugh and play with your kids.
• Make weekends family day. Never take on office work no matter what happens.
• Always keep your cool. There are times that coming home from work we are not at our best anymore and the endless questions and attention-grabbing efforts of our kids make us shout or set us to be angry. However, this is unavoidable as we are also humans and our bodies get tired. But remember that it’s nobody’s fault that we are tired and that the kids want attention. Just take it a heartbeat at a time. Never fret.
• Take every opportunity to take a day off at work to spend with the kids, especially if you have the proper entitlement to have it. Some work places are family-friendly and would give their employees annual leave entitlements that they can use to whatever purpose. If you have this kind of privilege, put it to good use and spend a whole day giving your kids the best of you.
• Maximize every moment that you have with your kids. For example, you can make simple daily bath time into mom and kid fun time. Joke around with your kids while you brush their teeth or change their clothes.
• If they are of the right age, you can even make simple house chores like cooking or cleaning their room a fun time for both of you. How? If they are big enough, you can give them simple preparation tasks or let them stand beside you as you cook while explaining t them what you are doing. While tidying up their room you can play their favourite music or sing and dance to their favourite tune.
The possibilities could be endless and that depends upon your situation. The important thing is there is a desire coming from you to spend time with your kids. You wouldn’t want your kids to have a memory of you always at work and never there for them, do you?
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